Wild Tiny

We had a rough day with Tiny Owlet yesterday. She can be so strong and uncompromising at times and yesterday she pushed all of us to our limits. She can be physically demanding, intimidating, and her four year old self struggles with respecting boundaries, or prefers not to. Tiny Owlet is fierce and wild. She tells us tigers are her spirit animal and we believe her. Her exuberance, humour and joy are balanced in equal parts by sudden anger and aggression, testing us more than any owlet has before. Combined with dynamics with other owlets, there is often fighting and frustration. It's tough being smallest. There have been parenting moments we're not proud of and others where we've been thankful we could smooth things over. Those evenings where we're relieved everyone is tucked in bed asleep and there is finally peace.

There's another side to Tiny. It reveals itself a little less right now she is very clearly four, but we're looking forward to seeing it more as she grows. It's the soft, gentle side she shows beetles and small animals - almost anything smaller than her. There's a tenderness when she realises her strength is unchallenged. We're hoping that as she grows in size, her tender side will shine through a little more clearly. That beautiful gentleness that we see as she's drifting off to sleep. As the tiger becomes a small kitten again.

In the middle of the night last night, Little Owlet woke Big Owlet, and then me, every ten minutes for a number of hours, swapping between the two of us. Company as she visited the toilet, a nightmare, wondering what time it was, how many hours until morning… these are the things that race through Little Owlet's mind in the middle of the night. Tiny had climbed down from the top bunk earlier in the night, to nab the spot in the bed next to me, so Little Owlet felt alone and frightened. Big Owlet, who likes her space right now, had run out of patience. There was exhaustion, exasperation and confusion in those wee hours of the morning and no-one quite knew what to do. 

Eventually, Tiny got up to see what all the fuss was about. She saw a sister feeling fragile and small and saw in that moment her own strength and assuredness. Tiny took my hand and looked up at me with the same, gentle, understanding eyes in the photograph above, and said "I can do this, Mama. You sleep." So I did. Tiny climbed into bed with Little Owlet and soothed her back to sleep, waiting until she was peaceful again. Then she slipped out and snuggled silently into her usual spot, beside me. When we woke two hours later, we were glad for the rest and so glad that Tiny had saved the day (or night, rather). We were grateful she felt she could step up and help and that the balance in those wee hours, where everyone is their true, honest selves, shifted to allow her that space. We saw the Tiny we look forward to spending more time with in years to come. The Tiny we've always known was there.  Fiercely loving Tiny. 

Are there many sides to your owlets? 
Are you nurturing a fierce owlet right now?
What's your spirit animal? 

~ Lauren. xx