holiday...

So we're in Melbourne! We're staying with my Sis, hanging with Mum & Dad, catching up. We've got a few special things to do while we're here. Autumn is one of my fave times in Melbourne. Golden light, air not too crisp yet... So far the food and the company have been wonderful. What we don't love are the traffic, the noise and how big it all is... If I could just package up everyone and everything I love most and bring them back to Hobart, life would be perfect! We travelled here in our little car and overnight on the boat. Longest. Day. Ever. Then it's been cafe visits, Mary Poppins for the elder owlets and some time alone at Heide for Huz, me and tiny owlet! Bliss! Today has been resting at home... tiny owlet is unwell, but I managed to sneak out for french toast with my Sis and Mum. More bliss! Wonder what tomorrow will bring?

unschool monday :: experimenting

Big owlet is our first child, so much of her life has been an experiment for us. Trial and error. Following her cues, hypothesising and testing ourselves. Each challenge has been met with hesitation, but usually if we just trust her we find our way through. I've learnt something about big owlet, after our little experiment with removing restrictions on screen time. She's extremely dedicated to finishing what she's started. Over the past two weeks she dedicated her time to watching 75 hours of Arthur. It drove us nuts. She spent time drawing pictures of the characters, telling us who were her favourite. She modelled Arthur's head from clay. She was totally engrossed. By wednesday this week we realised we were on the home stretch and we knew there was nothing we could do but ride it out. We tried various things to drag her away, but she kept returning. A bag of balloons led to all sorts of play and experimenting. The balloons made it out to the trampoline where the static electricity made them do all sorts of interesting things. They seemed to have a life of their own...

They became the cast of Arthur.

She told me she had one favourite episode. The one where Arthur and the Brain make a tv show of their own. Ah yes. That makes sense. We reflected lots on our experiment with Arthur 101. She agreed that it wasn't the healthiest way to spend her time. She understood that we wanted to find a little more balance in our days. That little owlet missed her playmate and we missed her general input. Felt like we'd lost her. And so when she finally finished watching yesterday, there was much cause for celebration. We were cooking and cleaning and gardening and the sun was shining. She played outside and proclaimed that everyday should be like this. And she hasn't looked at a screen since.

She snuck alongside me in the kitchen and asked to cook. She wanted to make her own recipe up. She hates following rules, so recipes aren't her thing at all. She often asks to have free reign over all the ingredients to make up her own things... which would be fine by us, but we work with a meal plan and a budget, and given the generosity of her cooking style, we've never been comfortable with free reign. But we've found some room for experimenting with left overs. So yesterday she concocted these jam and apple tarts with puff pastry scraps. Quite delectable and reassurance that somedays the experiment works out.

friday

Well it's been a bit of an up and down week. Lots of lovely moments, a few challenging ones... I'm sooo glad it's Friday and very much looking forward to an exciting couple of weeks. Huz is home - yay!! Now let the adventures begin...

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pictures of me

Little owlet loves drawing these days. She experiments lots with different drawing styles. Sometimes eyes are big and round, other times they are small with lashes. Sometimes there are crowns and curls and words. Most of her drawings are of me... I think. She could be just saying that to get extra cuddles. Either way, it works. Each one is like a little love letter.

PS. Thanks so much for the support for yesterday's post. It's so nice to know so many of you get it. Here's to looking after each other. xx

honest to blog

I enjoy blogging. I do. I like looking back at the record of our days. I like remembering the good bits and sometimes the hard bits. Writing it down helps me work out where we're at and stop and think about what and why we do what we do. I feel like sometimes though it seems a little more glossy than it really is. Some days are really challenging and just because I don't blog them, doesn't mean that they don't happen.



All day I work with the dynamics of children who challenge me mentally combined with a baby who needs me physically. They are all equally needy in their own ways and there is seldom time for anything I might like to do. But I've always been good at making things look easy. Coping and being capable, even when I'm struggling... just a little. Just like so many women I know.



Then there are those times where everything is going beautifully, flowing easily, the children are smiling and look relatively neat and tidy and creativity seems abundant and it's like... a blog post. Those days make you feel like it's all ok and you are heading the right way. They make the choices we make all worthwhile. I'm also aware that I tend not to blog the hard stuff to protect what we have. For the same reason that I find it difficult to ask for help. Sometimes I just don't want to whinge about my stuff when really, it's ok. And so people don't ask. They figure they've seen the blog and they know what we've been up to, we're all good, and that puts me on the back foot somewhat. Other times I do have a whinge and people try to offer a supportive ear by pointing out that I've chosen the harder path. Whether I agree or not is beside the point. They tell me their kids are in school and they have ALL DAY alone and that's awesome. Or that breast feeding or co-sleeping or carrying a 2yo is just asking for back pain...



Thing is, it's not all that helpful. If a friend is having a whinge about the school run, I'm unlikely to say "oh well, you have chosen to take them there and make your day all difficult and stuff". In fact, they are unlikely to hear that from anyone, but rather they'd just encounter empathy. Maybe someone offering to help them out on occasion... I often feel like I have to defend the choices we've made for our family by making it look good. By coping.



I'd like to let y'all know that it's not all cups of tea and biscuits and craft and skipping through the botanical gardens everyday. If you see me looking bemused, or overwhelmed or frazzled and I happen to mention I'm tired, a supportive approach would be a sympathetic nod. Ah yes, one of those days. You have them too, right? If you can, maybe some practical support could be offered. Most of our family is far away, so practical support is not something we have in abundance. Like so many families I know who have long days and many owlets to feed, schooled or not. They could all do with a hand occasionally. In my utopia we all look out for each other and offer a hand so that bad days are bearable. It takes a village and all that... So in the interests of bloggy honesty, I'm going to let you in on it from time to time, if I can. But promise not to question my choices. Respect them and that I'm happy with where I'm at. So happy. Remember that 75% of the time, life is peachy and we are all happily doing our thing, and that some days (or weeks) are just harder than others. Just cos.



Ways you can offer practical support to a friend or relative having a rough day...

Listen.
Make them a cup of tea.
Do the dishes.
Hold the baby while they stretch their arms.
Take their older children for a walk so they can nap or work or sit in silence.
Entertain their children while they go for a walk. Bring an afternoon/morning tea treat with you and make sure you tidy up after.
Help them spend one on one time with one of their other children by entertaining the other/s.
Help out by taking children to or from afternoon activities. Grab some shopping on your way.
Drop off some colouring books for some quiet time.
Cook them a meal and invite them over, or leave it on the doorstep for them to reheat.

unschool monday :: busy

You know those days that almost get away from you? I had one of those, which is why I'm writing an unschool monday post when it's almost tuesday.... Moving from one activity to the next and following owlet thought processes... I'm pooped. We did so much and I can look back at the day and how it all panned out and on paper it looks like a brilliantly structured plan, covering so many subject areas. But there is no plan. Most of my at home days are like this. In the moment I feel like I can barely keep up, particularly as all three owlets are at stages where they need my attention - one on-one. I seldom have time to catch my breath and it can be hard to stretch myself three ways... but those moments where we are working together, creating and playing make it all so worthwhile. So here's how my day went from baking to archaeology in three moves...



Baking. Little owlet is baking chocolate muffins. Big owlet is making bread. Both insist on minimal help, but they need some guidance from time to time...



Tiny owlet eats measuring cups while we bake...



Big owlet makes several different attempts to put her own stamp of individuality on the bread. After some discussion, she wisely avoids praying mantis bread and settles on a ladybird shape. Seven is the age where we must do everything our own way...



Sometimes burning the bottom of the bread can be a good thing. "Hey Mum, the baking paper looks Ancient! I'm really into ancient things."



Lets write in hieroglyphs and try other methods of making the paper look old. Lets also research ancient Egypt and try and work out what those hieroglyphics say. " I'm going to write the recipe for making bread in hieroglyphs"....



Now lets go and dig for ancient treasures in the mud pit. Then run mud through the house on the way to the shower...



All the while, tiny owlet chats and coos and rolls and her newest trick - crawling backwards - gets a workout. She's particularly enamored with that other baby in the mirror...

And so our day rolled to a close. Huz came home and cooked dinner while the owlets cleaned the day off and I attempted to catch my breath before dinner and story time. Oh yes there were also tears and battles and more television was watched than I'd like, but everyone went to bed happy and tired and nourished. And so I pause for a moment, wondering what tomorrow will bring...

Nourishing play

Big owlet had her bestest friend over again the other day. They love each other dearly, "like long lost twin sisters", big owlet tells me. It truly is a delight to watch them play. It seems to nourish them both. Little owlet has grown up lots since they first met - big owlet was little owlet's age at their first meeting. She joins in with their play these days, but they still need lots of time together, just the two of them. I get it, sometimes I like to spend time with just one friend, or Huz, without others around. So on these playdays, I make sure that I give them lots of space, but also keep the day flowing peacefully. The other day, little owlet and I had gone out for an hour in the morning while the bigger girls played, then came home to a house full of craft and dress-ups... Little owlet wanted to join in right away and the bigger girls obliged, but quickly wanted their space back. The room felt stale. I detected an element of whinge little owlet's voice. Ugh. This required quick thinking. So, following little owlet's love of cooking, I baked a cake with her. Chocolate of course. With chocolate icing. I made sure to make the cake with Rapadura, so the afternoon didn't evolve into a spiralling chaotic sugar explosion... I plonked the cake on the table with a jar full of different kinds of sprinkles and suggested they all decorate together. They did. Peacefully, democratically and creatively. They wandered out to the garden to add edible treasures to their creation... Then set up a faerie tea party under a tree to eat the cake together. Little owlet was welcomed into the game as an equal and peace reigned for the remainder of the afternoon. Perhaps it was the introduction of a creative project at just the right time. Perhaps it was because it was food - the great connector. Maybe they were just hungry. I've found changing the mood with food and creativity works so often when things turn sour. Fruit kebabs always work, as do icypoles and waterplay, or making food faces.... Anyhow, I'm putting it here so I remember for next time and we can always keep the play fresh and nourishing for all.

Playing along with Childhood 101's We Play.