Tiny's Bedtime Basket

Here's the thing about Tiny Owlet. Tiny is fierce and loving and so very funny. And she is busy! Always doing something and she loves to be in on whatever anyone else is doing. She's active and playful and she doesn't miss a trick. But she doesn't know how to switch off without a fight.  She'll tell you she's tired, but she'll resist any attempts to help that transition to bed happen. She wants to run to bed covered in paint or tomato sauce, in the nude, and breastfeed until she falls asleep, however long that may take. Which is perfectly fine, except it's MY bed she's sleeping in and it's ME that gets covered in tomato sauce. And I'm not too keen on that. She wants a book too, but not the one I've chosen. Or the one she's chosen. And she will not ever, never brush her teeth. And we neeeeed her to brush her teeth. Tiny is very three. 

In thinking a little about three year olds and remembering what they like, I've returned to rhythm and ritual to help smooth gentle transitions. I'm remembering the time we spent reading story after story each night with Big Owlet and how Little Owlet still won't go to sleep unless I say "sweet dreams". Like her sisters,  there is a time each day when bed suits Tiny best, she just needs a little help and a few cues to remember how to do it. I'm also watching her energy levels and how to keep her balanced so our evenings are calm and peaceful... 

On evenings where she's still not tired (perhaps we've had a quiet day at home), we go for a walk before bed. 

On evenings where she's a bit rough and ragged and shouty and overtired, we have a long, quiet bath together. Some one-on-one time to stop and slow right down and talk and sing and whisper and cuddle… With soothing oils and epsom salts and rose petals and all the fixings for a peaceful night.

Here's the thing about three year olds. They like to be involved in the job. In charge. And they like gear. Kits go a long way when you are three. So, to help smooth Tiny's transition to bed, we have her bedtime basket. She started it. One evening, she shouted at me that it was bedtime and headed down the hallway with a basket full of books. The next night, I grabbed the basket and suggested we fill it together. She chose some books and the water/oil hourglass thing that she's taken to staring at. The next night, I presented her the basket with pyjamas in it. Right now it looks like the basket you see above. In the basket are: 

• Pyjamas
• Tiny's hourglass toy
• A little friend to keep her company while she brushes her teeth
• Books - sometimes I choose them, sometimes she helps

So we go to the basket, put on pyjamas, take the little friend to the bathroom and brush her teeth, hop into bed, look at the hourglass thing, read a book and zonk out. And there's not a scream or a shout or anger or frustration. Just calm. And quiet. And a sense of getting the job done and an all-over sense of peaceful relief (from both of us), when she snuggles down finally, happily to snooze. 

Sweet dreams, Tiny. xx

Do you have any bedtime routines in your home?

Does no routine at all suit you better?

What does bedtime look like in your nest? xx

Weekend Adventurers :: The Styx Forest & Mt Field

One lazy Saturday morning, lolling around our much loved and lived in nest, we decided it was time to do something. Not the usual trip to the shops or the market, but an adventure. So we packed a thermos and some sandwiches and bundled the owlets into the car and headed north for the day.

We wanted to see big trees.



We've lived in Tasmania for over 8 years now and I'm not sure that we've ever visited the Styx forest before. It lies north of Hobart and just outside the Mt Field National Park and is home to some of the tallest trees on earth. Giant swamp gums standing 85m high. It also incorporates some of the forest that was recently included in the extension to the World Heritage Area. The bit that the government would like to return to logging. The area we visited is State forest and is currently harvested, although The Big Tree and the Bigger Tree themselves are protected.




So, on a whim, we popped out to spend some time with the trees and find out why they are worth looking after. And not just the trees, of course, but the whole forest around them too.




 It's all pretty amazing. Full of ferns and moss and dappled light. Full of green and water and birds and leeches! Full of ancient smells and silence... I imagine. I was there with three owlets, so it was hard to tell…




Afterwards, we were still up for adventure. And as we're in the middle of daylight savings and the days are so long (and Tiny napped earlier), we pressed on to Mt. Field National Park. Huz's favourite place in Tasmania.



We had time for a quick visit to Russell Falls as the afternoon sun shone through the trees. What a magical place and a beautiful time of day to visit. Often we're ferrying owlets home by late afternoon, so giving ourselves that extra time to just go slowly and have the experience, regardless of what time it was, was bliss.

Just what this family needed.

A reminder that so many beautiful, vulnerable, wild, amazing places are just on our doorstep. And we really should spend so much more time in them than we have. I feel a new blog series coming on…

Bring on the adventures!

Have you been on any adventures lately? 
Seen any big trees? 

Have a wonderful week. xx

**Photo's in this post are by me, Huz and Tiny!**

Farewell Summer...

It feels like we finally got our mojo back this summer. Our love for this tiny island and all the wonderful things in it. We've been all over the place and spending long days, weeks, with friends old and new.

First in Melbourne with the ease of family. Then home again and off to camp… Before coming back home and welcoming a beautiful family of new friends who merged with ours so brilliantly that it felt odd when they were no longer here. Extended time living with others, especially witnessing the dynamics of other families,  brings a wonderful new perspective to how we live our own daily lives. Even for kind of introverted sorts like me and Huz. What a gift! I highly recommend it, sharing your space with other families... Villages are wonderful things!



This last beautiful month has been like one giant, relaxed party. One huge out-breath as we cram in all the things before the shortened days and hibernation of Winter kick in. The light is changing. We can feel it coming and yet we are still holding out for summer to stay a while… We'd have been off adventuring right now if we'd run with our hearts again this weekend… Gosh we love summer...

Stay tuned for an update on where we've been. It's been wonderful! And we'll be off for Autumnal adventures again soon!



Right now, it's time for a freshen up. We're locating all the cosy things, still making the most of the daylight, gardening and harvesting, tidying up, dusting the neglected corners of our home, breathing in and boiling the kettle.

This blog has had a much needed, long anticipated freshen up too with a lovely new banner. Thanks so much to the remarkably generous and always wonderful Phoebe Wahl. I do love it so…. I think just about every room in our nest has something of Phoebe's on it and now both my blog and our Spiral Garden store do too. I don't think its possible to have too much whimsy and wonderful in your life, is it?

Have you had a wonderful summer? I hope so! 
Hope there's whimsy and wonderful in your world this weekend too… xx

Co-op Camp

This year we finally got ourselves organised at our homeschool co-op and organised a summer camp.  It really was such a highlight. All weekend with some of our favourite people, creating a village for Tiny Owlet to explore and make her own. Long days for owlets to talk, laugh, swim and play with friends - the biggest ever sleep-over! And friendships forged and strengthened for me and Huz too.

We shared skills, learnt new ones, shared food and looked out for the smallest in our tribe. We got comfy with each other and relaxed. An observation Huz made on the way home was the caring, gentle nature of communicating between families, together and with each other. Not a voice was raised in anger or threat to a child. Which made for peaceful and relaxing days. Gentle parenting rocks!

Camp seemed like a turning point for our little (now not so little) group. One that has cemented a core of us together and will see this thing we started grow and flourish. Hopefully even on the rainiest wintry-est days. It seems like, just maybe, we have built our village. Found our tribe.

I've had a few readers ask, so I'll pass on how we started our co-op soon. But for now, we're remembering fondly and planning the next camp. Tiny is asking most days when it's time to go on co-op camp. For her, village living felt right. And I can't wait to make that happen again.

A day in the life...

So many owlets we know went off to school today. Facebook lit up with all these gorgeous smiling faces off to their places of learning and new adventures ahead. The rite of passage of first-timers and their older siblings commemorated for all to see... I could hear the collective sigh of relief of some mama friends, happy to be back to their usual rhythms of lunches, drop off, pick up, hang out... Rhythm can be such a comfort and hard to hang onto when you're enjoying the freedom of summer holidays. That constant out-breath. 

We carried on today, doing our usual thing. We've been keeping (albeit a little loosely) to a rhythm that has brought a considerable amount of calm to our home. Balancing in-and-out-breath in that Waldorfy way, working with head, heart and hands... It makes sure everyone gets a break or attention when they need. Sometimes it all goes out the window, but that's ok... We've wafted in and out of it over the years and this is how things seem to roll best for us during the day... So I thought I might share it... 

Early Morning. 

The owlets were up at sunrise today, dressed and out the back door, excited to resume a game from the night before, called wolves and  panthers... or something like that. Huz and I stayed in bed procrastinating for as long as possible before Little Owlet dragged Huz out to see the crepuscular rays poking through the clouds. I got up too... eventually. When I finally work out that going to bed early is a good thing, I'll be sure to get up early too. Promise. 

Breakfast. 

Somehow it arrives at the table and we all sit around and light a candle. Tiny likes to make us hold hands and sing a rousing rendition of "Blessings on the Blossoms" before we eat and chat about our day. Owlets clear the table as we kiss Huz goodbye. 

Mid-morning.

Big Owlet and any other interested owlets sit with me at the table and we spend some time researching her project of interest. Right now Big Owlet is doing a version of a Steiner/Waldorfy main lesson approach. We wander off on tangents lots. She spends time reading, writing and drawing in her book.

Little Owlet and I read a small book or verse for her to base her recipe of the week on. If she's feeling motivated, she begins writing a recipe down for her cookbook. Or we pop into the kitchen and cook her recipe. Usually she mixes this with playing with Tiny Owlet. Today they're on a bus. 

Morning Tea

Usually outside, with fruit. Sometimes around the table with teapots and pikelets. Time to run around outside while I hang washing and potter in the garden. Tiny collects the eggs. She's usually nude.

Late-morning.

Handwork. This might be knitting, pottery, building things out of boxes, art, woodwork, cartooning, felting... whatever we feel inspired to work on. On Wednesdays we usually spend some extra time in the garden working on our nature/art journals. On Fridays Big Owlet usually focuses on art. 

Lunch.

We flop on the lounge and watch a movie or documentary while we eat lunch. Usually I try to make it tie in with whatever we've been talking about that day. 

Afternoon.

We go for a walk in our neighbourhood. Sometimes along the beach. Sometimes to the community garden. Sometimes to the cafe for milkshakes. Everyday is different and everyday we find something new. 

Late-afternoon.

When we get home we put the kettle on, grab snacks and head for different corners of the house for some quiet time. Often the Owlets will hop online and play Minecraft with friends. Tiny will pop Peppa Pig on the iPad and wander between that, toys and the occasional visit to me. I check emails, work on Spiral Garden and research ideas for things to do with the Owlets if I need to. Sometimes Huz comes home early and he and the bigger Owlets head off for Kung Fu training or Big Owlet takes a drama class and the other owlets and I visit the library and meet up with Huz.

Evening.

I pop on dinner, Huz arrives home, we eat and help a very tired Tiny get ready for bed.  Most days, the two bigger Owlets relax after dinner and head to bed a while later. Sometimes an Owlet will stay up for some one-on-one time with us. Usually Huz and I work and watch something lighthearted before crawling to bed much later than we should.... and we begin again. 

Unless tomorrow we decide to go to a friend's place or the beach all day. Or we spend the day with all our buddies at co-op. Or we get carried away with cooking or drawing or watching movies or something else... And that's the best thing about it. The freedom to change it up when we want to. Comfort and freedom. In and out breath. Balance. 

Judgement

So I've been giving a little thought over the past while about judgement, being judged, judging others. Here's what I think...

It isn't helpful. 

This is where my dislike for labels comes into play. They allow us to quickly categorise so we can arrive at a judgement of a person or a thing sooner. So we can work out if they are for us.

It can feel hurtful to be misunderstood. Misjudged. And, especially on the internet, we humans can jump to conclusions and misjudgements rather quickly. We have a lot to learn about this still-so-new method of communicating and sharing thoughts. We get it wrong. Often.

This space here, where I write my observations of my family life and often through my owlets' eyes has, on a few occasions, been seen as judgmental. Perhaps you've felt it too? The mind can play tricks like that. It can make one's exclamation of joy seem like a personal attack on one's own character or choice of lifestyle. It can make us feel defensive. A happy owlet at my house can mean your owlet is somehow deprived. Which we both know isn't really true. Reading about another's happiness or choices can lead to reflection on your own, for sure. But is it a judgement of your situation? Most likely not. Usually it's just me soothing my own soul and remembering to take note of the good things...

A couple of weeks back, I ventured onto a local Facebook chat group. I've been and left before for various reasons; mostly I'm just too busy to have it constantly in my feed. This time it seems I was there to figure out my thoughts on judgement. One member posted a fairly provocative article. It had slightly  defensive undertones from an author who had likely been judged for her position. It was an opinion piece on bodily autonomy and kids. I happened to mostly agree with it. It was about hair. Just hair. No life and death thing. Unsurprisingly, many of the comments responding to the post were fairly judgmental and leaping to rather ridiculous conclusions. There was no real person to converse with, so it was all in, in that special one-sided way that happens on the internet... Anyhow, I felt uncomfortable about it. And not because it felt like judgement of me - it could have, given the state of Tiny's hair these days, but this wasn't particularly bothering me. What I felt most uncomfortable about was the assumption and statement that anything on the internet is up for scrutiny and judgement. If you put it out there, you're asking for it. I disagree.

Using one's judgement to figure out the right path forward in life is a helpful thing. Passing judgement on others is often hurtful. Instead of reacting in a defensive way, instead of feeling like the other person's way of life is threatening yours... Instead of feeling like you need to poke a heap of holes in the other person's argument/lifestyle/beliefs, maybe stop and think about it a bit... Sure, let them know it challenges you. Perhaps do some work on that yourself. Listen. Talk it through if you can. Let them know you disagree if you must. Maybe provide some insight on why you might think that and some information on why. Hopefully they'll understand it as helpful rather than judgmental...

But try not to belittle and try not to judge them to be bad people. And most certainly don't expect that they are judging you back. Probably they're just happily doing their own thing, getting on with living. Maybe they're letting you know that they think it's great just incase you might too. The internet can be a wonderful place for learning and communication, especially if we don't let judgement get in the way.

Have you ever felt judged?
Have you ever read a blog and felt self-concious about your life?
Have you ever felt a bit judgmental about something that challenged you? 

How'd you move through that? 

Happy week, lovely ones. xo

Variations on a theme...

We learnt a whole lot last year. Not just about the world outside our little nest, but about the world inside it. As our owlets get older and reach for more independence, we learn and shift. Like how we play musical beds all the time. We meet their (and our) needs.

Last year we explored letting go all over again. Owlets spent days upon days at play, making new friends and strengthening old friendships. It was a wonderful life-learning experience. Most of it happened online. We thought we'd see how long it'd last... Minecraftschooling. How long they'd want to keep playing/watching all day (and I mean ALL day). They went hard. They learnt to touch-type and play online parkour. They figured out some tough mathematical puzzles and negotiated friendships. Oh, they learnt. They learnt lots. And we were always around to guide them (we learnt lots too). It was great! They didn't want to do anything else in their waking hours.



But underneath it all there was this strange, underlying... boredom. Our owlets seemed to be waiting for something. And yet not. If we were out, they'd count down until they could get back to playing and rage if it felt like too long. We'd suggest going out or trying something new... a craft activity or baking or an outing... anything... and it was met by this overwhelming sense of *meh*. They were grumpy lots. They didn't know what they could do without some direction or entertainment. Unless they were online. They were bored, but it was an unsettling kind of boredom. And despite one out of the three owlets being able to self-regulate, even she was caught up in it. It was almost dependency. It was all a bit much.

They'd forgotten how to daydream. 

This worried us. Daydreaming and boredom are big friends of creativity, in our book. Boredom isn't something to be afraid of usually. It pushes you to be creative. To be perfectly honest, we adults fill quiet moments with screens too. We work online. We organise social outings online. There's no time to be bored or daydream. No time to be quiet. Always, always busy.



We had a family chat about all the things we hoped to do this year. It wandered into what we'd like to do in years to come. Hopes and dreams and all that stuff you talk about as a new year approaches.

Big Owlet wants to be an artist. Little Owlet wants to cook. Tiny Owlet wants to be a tiger. And so we talked about how they are and can be all those things NOW. That they can work at them and master them and perhaps do them for a living (tiger may be tricky), but they have to DO them. We pointed out that right now, at that moment,  they were skilled online gamers, which is totally cool if that's what they want to be, but they seemed bored with it. Like it was their job. Not their passion. Turns out we were right.



They needed balance, just as we do. And they just weren't equipped to find it on their own yet. They were ready for a push. Big Owlet was ready for a challenge. She identified gaps she found and didn't know how to go about filling. From birth, this owlet has adored routine. She loves the comfort of order and a programme. Which is, I suspect, why screens appeal so much.



If you were to label it, we'd probably have one sort-of-waldorfy-homeschooler, one unschooler and one radical-or-bust unschooler. But we don't have to label it because it is what it is. And how it looks now will most likely look different next month. I'm being a bit careful about the words we use to describe what we do these days. And I'm ignoring the voices out there who try to package it and tell me how it should look. Labels are unhelpful other than to help identify a tribe. And, wonderfully, thankfully, we have found it.

So we're working with variations on a theme. We're life learning, living and loving. And doing what we want and need for now. Looking out for each other so there's time for all the good stuff. So far, so good.