Farewell Summer...

It feels like we finally got our mojo back this summer. Our love for this tiny island and all the wonderful things in it. We've been all over the place and spending long days, weeks, with friends old and new.

First in Melbourne with the ease of family. Then home again and off to camp… Before coming back home and welcoming a beautiful family of new friends who merged with ours so brilliantly that it felt odd when they were no longer here. Extended time living with others, especially witnessing the dynamics of other families,  brings a wonderful new perspective to how we live our own daily lives. Even for kind of introverted sorts like me and Huz. What a gift! I highly recommend it, sharing your space with other families... Villages are wonderful things!



This last beautiful month has been like one giant, relaxed party. One huge out-breath as we cram in all the things before the shortened days and hibernation of Winter kick in. The light is changing. We can feel it coming and yet we are still holding out for summer to stay a while… We'd have been off adventuring right now if we'd run with our hearts again this weekend… Gosh we love summer...

Stay tuned for an update on where we've been. It's been wonderful! And we'll be off for Autumnal adventures again soon!



Right now, it's time for a freshen up. We're locating all the cosy things, still making the most of the daylight, gardening and harvesting, tidying up, dusting the neglected corners of our home, breathing in and boiling the kettle.

This blog has had a much needed, long anticipated freshen up too with a lovely new banner. Thanks so much to the remarkably generous and always wonderful Phoebe Wahl. I do love it so…. I think just about every room in our nest has something of Phoebe's on it and now both my blog and our Spiral Garden store do too. I don't think its possible to have too much whimsy and wonderful in your life, is it?

Have you had a wonderful summer? I hope so! 
Hope there's whimsy and wonderful in your world this weekend too… xx

Co-op Camp

This year we finally got ourselves organised at our homeschool co-op and organised a summer camp.  It really was such a highlight. All weekend with some of our favourite people, creating a village for Tiny Owlet to explore and make her own. Long days for owlets to talk, laugh, swim and play with friends - the biggest ever sleep-over! And friendships forged and strengthened for me and Huz too.

We shared skills, learnt new ones, shared food and looked out for the smallest in our tribe. We got comfy with each other and relaxed. An observation Huz made on the way home was the caring, gentle nature of communicating between families, together and with each other. Not a voice was raised in anger or threat to a child. Which made for peaceful and relaxing days. Gentle parenting rocks!

Camp seemed like a turning point for our little (now not so little) group. One that has cemented a core of us together and will see this thing we started grow and flourish. Hopefully even on the rainiest wintry-est days. It seems like, just maybe, we have built our village. Found our tribe.

I've had a few readers ask, so I'll pass on how we started our co-op soon. But for now, we're remembering fondly and planning the next camp. Tiny is asking most days when it's time to go on co-op camp. For her, village living felt right. And I can't wait to make that happen again.

A day in the life...

So many owlets we know went off to school today. Facebook lit up with all these gorgeous smiling faces off to their places of learning and new adventures ahead. The rite of passage of first-timers and their older siblings commemorated for all to see... I could hear the collective sigh of relief of some mama friends, happy to be back to their usual rhythms of lunches, drop off, pick up, hang out... Rhythm can be such a comfort and hard to hang onto when you're enjoying the freedom of summer holidays. That constant out-breath. 

We carried on today, doing our usual thing. We've been keeping (albeit a little loosely) to a rhythm that has brought a considerable amount of calm to our home. Balancing in-and-out-breath in that Waldorfy way, working with head, heart and hands... It makes sure everyone gets a break or attention when they need. Sometimes it all goes out the window, but that's ok... We've wafted in and out of it over the years and this is how things seem to roll best for us during the day... So I thought I might share it... 

Early Morning. 

The owlets were up at sunrise today, dressed and out the back door, excited to resume a game from the night before, called wolves and  panthers... or something like that. Huz and I stayed in bed procrastinating for as long as possible before Little Owlet dragged Huz out to see the crepuscular rays poking through the clouds. I got up too... eventually. When I finally work out that going to bed early is a good thing, I'll be sure to get up early too. Promise. 

Breakfast. 

Somehow it arrives at the table and we all sit around and light a candle. Tiny likes to make us hold hands and sing a rousing rendition of "Blessings on the Blossoms" before we eat and chat about our day. Owlets clear the table as we kiss Huz goodbye. 

Mid-morning.

Big Owlet and any other interested owlets sit with me at the table and we spend some time researching her project of interest. Right now Big Owlet is doing a version of a Steiner/Waldorfy main lesson approach. We wander off on tangents lots. She spends time reading, writing and drawing in her book.

Little Owlet and I read a small book or verse for her to base her recipe of the week on. If she's feeling motivated, she begins writing a recipe down for her cookbook. Or we pop into the kitchen and cook her recipe. Usually she mixes this with playing with Tiny Owlet. Today they're on a bus. 

Morning Tea

Usually outside, with fruit. Sometimes around the table with teapots and pikelets. Time to run around outside while I hang washing and potter in the garden. Tiny collects the eggs. She's usually nude.

Late-morning.

Handwork. This might be knitting, pottery, building things out of boxes, art, woodwork, cartooning, felting... whatever we feel inspired to work on. On Wednesdays we usually spend some extra time in the garden working on our nature/art journals. On Fridays Big Owlet usually focuses on art. 

Lunch.

We flop on the lounge and watch a movie or documentary while we eat lunch. Usually I try to make it tie in with whatever we've been talking about that day. 

Afternoon.

We go for a walk in our neighbourhood. Sometimes along the beach. Sometimes to the community garden. Sometimes to the cafe for milkshakes. Everyday is different and everyday we find something new. 

Late-afternoon.

When we get home we put the kettle on, grab snacks and head for different corners of the house for some quiet time. Often the Owlets will hop online and play Minecraft with friends. Tiny will pop Peppa Pig on the iPad and wander between that, toys and the occasional visit to me. I check emails, work on Spiral Garden and research ideas for things to do with the Owlets if I need to. Sometimes Huz comes home early and he and the bigger Owlets head off for Kung Fu training or Big Owlet takes a drama class and the other owlets and I visit the library and meet up with Huz.

Evening.

I pop on dinner, Huz arrives home, we eat and help a very tired Tiny get ready for bed.  Most days, the two bigger Owlets relax after dinner and head to bed a while later. Sometimes an Owlet will stay up for some one-on-one time with us. Usually Huz and I work and watch something lighthearted before crawling to bed much later than we should.... and we begin again. 

Unless tomorrow we decide to go to a friend's place or the beach all day. Or we spend the day with all our buddies at co-op. Or we get carried away with cooking or drawing or watching movies or something else... And that's the best thing about it. The freedom to change it up when we want to. Comfort and freedom. In and out breath. Balance. 

Judgement

So I've been giving a little thought over the past while about judgement, being judged, judging others. Here's what I think...

It isn't helpful. 

This is where my dislike for labels comes into play. They allow us to quickly categorise so we can arrive at a judgement of a person or a thing sooner. So we can work out if they are for us.

It can feel hurtful to be misunderstood. Misjudged. And, especially on the internet, we humans can jump to conclusions and misjudgements rather quickly. We have a lot to learn about this still-so-new method of communicating and sharing thoughts. We get it wrong. Often.

This space here, where I write my observations of my family life and often through my owlets' eyes has, on a few occasions, been seen as judgmental. Perhaps you've felt it too? The mind can play tricks like that. It can make one's exclamation of joy seem like a personal attack on one's own character or choice of lifestyle. It can make us feel defensive. A happy owlet at my house can mean your owlet is somehow deprived. Which we both know isn't really true. Reading about another's happiness or choices can lead to reflection on your own, for sure. But is it a judgement of your situation? Most likely not. Usually it's just me soothing my own soul and remembering to take note of the good things...

A couple of weeks back, I ventured onto a local Facebook chat group. I've been and left before for various reasons; mostly I'm just too busy to have it constantly in my feed. This time it seems I was there to figure out my thoughts on judgement. One member posted a fairly provocative article. It had slightly  defensive undertones from an author who had likely been judged for her position. It was an opinion piece on bodily autonomy and kids. I happened to mostly agree with it. It was about hair. Just hair. No life and death thing. Unsurprisingly, many of the comments responding to the post were fairly judgmental and leaping to rather ridiculous conclusions. There was no real person to converse with, so it was all in, in that special one-sided way that happens on the internet... Anyhow, I felt uncomfortable about it. And not because it felt like judgement of me - it could have, given the state of Tiny's hair these days, but this wasn't particularly bothering me. What I felt most uncomfortable about was the assumption and statement that anything on the internet is up for scrutiny and judgement. If you put it out there, you're asking for it. I disagree.

Using one's judgement to figure out the right path forward in life is a helpful thing. Passing judgement on others is often hurtful. Instead of reacting in a defensive way, instead of feeling like the other person's way of life is threatening yours... Instead of feeling like you need to poke a heap of holes in the other person's argument/lifestyle/beliefs, maybe stop and think about it a bit... Sure, let them know it challenges you. Perhaps do some work on that yourself. Listen. Talk it through if you can. Let them know you disagree if you must. Maybe provide some insight on why you might think that and some information on why. Hopefully they'll understand it as helpful rather than judgmental...

But try not to belittle and try not to judge them to be bad people. And most certainly don't expect that they are judging you back. Probably they're just happily doing their own thing, getting on with living. Maybe they're letting you know that they think it's great just incase you might too. The internet can be a wonderful place for learning and communication, especially if we don't let judgement get in the way.

Have you ever felt judged?
Have you ever read a blog and felt self-concious about your life?
Have you ever felt a bit judgmental about something that challenged you? 

How'd you move through that? 

Happy week, lovely ones. xo

Variations on a theme...

We learnt a whole lot last year. Not just about the world outside our little nest, but about the world inside it. As our owlets get older and reach for more independence, we learn and shift. Like how we play musical beds all the time. We meet their (and our) needs.

Last year we explored letting go all over again. Owlets spent days upon days at play, making new friends and strengthening old friendships. It was a wonderful life-learning experience. Most of it happened online. We thought we'd see how long it'd last... Minecraftschooling. How long they'd want to keep playing/watching all day (and I mean ALL day). They went hard. They learnt to touch-type and play online parkour. They figured out some tough mathematical puzzles and negotiated friendships. Oh, they learnt. They learnt lots. And we were always around to guide them (we learnt lots too). It was great! They didn't want to do anything else in their waking hours.



But underneath it all there was this strange, underlying... boredom. Our owlets seemed to be waiting for something. And yet not. If we were out, they'd count down until they could get back to playing and rage if it felt like too long. We'd suggest going out or trying something new... a craft activity or baking or an outing... anything... and it was met by this overwhelming sense of *meh*. They were grumpy lots. They didn't know what they could do without some direction or entertainment. Unless they were online. They were bored, but it was an unsettling kind of boredom. And despite one out of the three owlets being able to self-regulate, even she was caught up in it. It was almost dependency. It was all a bit much.

They'd forgotten how to daydream. 

This worried us. Daydreaming and boredom are big friends of creativity, in our book. Boredom isn't something to be afraid of usually. It pushes you to be creative. To be perfectly honest, we adults fill quiet moments with screens too. We work online. We organise social outings online. There's no time to be bored or daydream. No time to be quiet. Always, always busy.



We had a family chat about all the things we hoped to do this year. It wandered into what we'd like to do in years to come. Hopes and dreams and all that stuff you talk about as a new year approaches.

Big Owlet wants to be an artist. Little Owlet wants to cook. Tiny Owlet wants to be a tiger. And so we talked about how they are and can be all those things NOW. That they can work at them and master them and perhaps do them for a living (tiger may be tricky), but they have to DO them. We pointed out that right now, at that moment,  they were skilled online gamers, which is totally cool if that's what they want to be, but they seemed bored with it. Like it was their job. Not their passion. Turns out we were right.



They needed balance, just as we do. And they just weren't equipped to find it on their own yet. They were ready for a push. Big Owlet was ready for a challenge. She identified gaps she found and didn't know how to go about filling. From birth, this owlet has adored routine. She loves the comfort of order and a programme. Which is, I suspect, why screens appeal so much.



If you were to label it, we'd probably have one sort-of-waldorfy-homeschooler, one unschooler and one radical-or-bust unschooler. But we don't have to label it because it is what it is. And how it looks now will most likely look different next month. I'm being a bit careful about the words we use to describe what we do these days. And I'm ignoring the voices out there who try to package it and tell me how it should look. Labels are unhelpful other than to help identify a tribe. And, wonderfully, thankfully, we have found it.

So we're working with variations on a theme. We're life learning, living and loving. And doing what we want and need for now. Looking out for each other so there's time for all the good stuff. So far, so good.

It all ended in tears...

We were recently blessed with what might have been the best Christmas ever. Every time my family comes together, to celebrate the end of the year and indulge in a festival of thoughtfulness and delicious food, this seems to happen. We ALWAYS say this. But this time was different.

We flew to them this time, thanks to a generous donation of tickets from Mum & Dad. And thanks to my Sis and her wonderful man's hospitality, we shared their gorgeous, but modest space for the better part of two weeks. Oh there was festive...





And there was feasting. And there was a lazy Christmas night for tired owlets with full bellies, all watching moonlight cinema in the back yard. Kiki's Flying Delivery Service with loud street parties, illegal fireworks, aerogard and bats flying overhead... There was also a rotten cold that circulated through the whole bunch of us, but didn't dampen spirits. There was cheap, wonderful food, internet friends becoming wonderful real friends, nights out alone (eep!) and there were lots of adults to share the bulk of the parenting and cleaning and cooking and fun making... And although we were away from home and in a big, bustling, stinking hot city, we actually started to feel a bit relaxed.



"I could live like this forever..." My sister sighed. And she was right. It just flowed and all those reasons why we miss living near them leapt forward.

We said goodbye one hot afternoon, after a hearty Dad-cooked BBQ and then it began...

It always starts with Huz. And the hug. 

He hugged my sister goodbye which started the explosion of tears, which began the unstoppable flood of tears from me, and the flailing. Actually, I think it was just my sister and me. I think the rest of us were relatively stoic and confused... We hugged it out, but there was nothing for it but to say goodbye quietly and hop in the car and drive away from them. And sob all the way to the airport, assessing our options and decisions along the way... And feel quiet and emotional about it all the way home.

But then this....



Home. We stepped out of the car and all we could hear were birds. All we could smell was eucalyptus and sea air. We stretched out in our comfortable and (thanks to the owlets' uber thoughtful Uncle), clean and welcoming home... The last few weeks have been full of missing and wishing and wondering, but knowing that this is where we belong. Where we can live the kind of lifestyle we love and need... So hopes and budgets and plans are afoot for more visits and travels and, although it's not perfect,  away we go....

Finding our way back...

Hello. How are things? We've been so crazy busy with everything... EVERYTHING! The last few months are a bit of a happy whirlwind blur... First there was the intense pre-christmas work period with Spiral Garden, combined with the usual crazy busy end of year stuff and all that parenting three children brings. Follow that with Christmas interstate. And then bring home a good dose of some awful cold virus that has you wiped out for the better part of three weeks...

Having a little break has helped me pause and think about what I write about and how. I've contemplated some of the feedback I've received over the past year or so and why and how it affected me... I've pondered how we communicate with each other these days and how online communication works within that. I've felt a tad self-conscious. And the thought of writing something here has become harder and harder. Like when you leave it too long to make a phone call... I almost didn't come back.


But this is our story and I can't begin to tell you how helpful it is being able to trace rhythms and patterns within our family. To remember so many happy (and sad) memories and the story behind them.  To look back on a bad day in August and realise we feel like this every year at that time. Or that this was a challenging age for the last owlet who visited it. It's helpful to look back at the things we've done so we can experience them again. Or to remember that when we feel life is moving so slowly and we feel like we haven't done much, remember that we HAVE!

So I'm here to record it and throw it all out there in my usual, unplanned stream of consciousness style and make sure it's there for us to look back on and for anyone who might still read this blog (Hi Dad!!xx ), to have a little insight to our days, if it interests you... 2014, we are finally ready for you. xo