downtime

Blogger's been having some downtime and so have we, amongst busy days too. There's lots to catch up on, but in the meantime we're snuggling and enjoying time away from the screen... Today we put tiny owlet in this jumper and it seems too soon, but it fits! Huz's Mum knitted it for him when he was a wee owlet with his shortened name on the front. When Big owlet was a babe, I cross stitched I *heart* in red so she could wear it too. Then Little owlet had her turn... and here we are again. Too soon, I say, but gorgeous all the same. :)

mini fashionistas

There's something about little owlet. She has a knack for piecing together random bits of clothing and making it all work. She wears these outfits with great aplomb and usually turns heads.

Here she's sporting a pair of wide leg cord pants sewn by mama, a corduroy dress she chose at a school fete for $1, a hand-me-down beanie, badge made by a friend, a top worn by her eldest sister on her 1st birthday (yes, it's size 1!), and gold jiffies. Later she swapped the jiffies for rainbow gumboots and the beanie for a tweed hat and we went out. And she looked cool.

I was reading Wondering Willow's post last week and looking at my mini fashionista and thinking I'd really love to see more of these awesome kids getting creative with fashion... and celebrating their sense of style! Would you like to join in too? Even just a pic of the ensemble if photographing and blogging your owlet is not your thing. Leave your link below if you'd like to get involved. I'm aiming to have a pic to share each Tuesday, so feel free to jump in sometime!

unschool monday :: control (part two), boundaries

Well what a big week of breakthroughs in our nest! I've posted several times before about big owlet and her love of the screen. How recently we removed all restrictions and let her go for it. Let her have a go at self regulating. The only restriction was that she didn't use the computer when others needed it. Well it worked in the sense that it removed responsibility from our shoulders... But it still wasn't doing her any favours. It seemed that her idea of what was an appropriate amount of time to spend in front of a screen varied drastically to ours. The fighting started to creep back in. Little owlet started missing her again. She became physical and aggressive when she wasn't watching. Time to try again. Take a different approach. One last try to win her back without coming over all authoritarian and killing the unschooling spirit behind what we do...



We talked to her about science. About reports and blog posts we'd been reading on kids and screen time. We talked about slowed metabolism and brain cells. We drew pictures of neurons and connecting brain patterns and talked about the screen's role in those at such a young age. She got it. We presented the science and a visual and finally we were speaking her language. She was able to describe how watching made her feel. We told her we thought she might need some help to set some healthy boundaries. She agreed. She told us what she thought was a fair amount of time to watch. Then we wrote it down. We agreed to an hour each day (she said every second day, but we thought it might be ambitious), and a family movie on the weekend. She was happy. So were we.



Next we talked about responsibility. We talked about our expectations for what the owlets do as part of the family. We asked them what they thought they should be responsible for. Then we wrote it down. What has happened since then has been a transformation. Harmony with owlets working towards a happier household, along with us. No more nagging. Or reminding or asking nicely... Just people contributing on their own terms. Responsible for their own stuff and happy to be. I'm stunned. The other morning we woke to owlets happily, harmoniously playing chess rather grunting at us from behind a screen... weird.



So often this unschooling journey astonishes me. We take leaps of faith with it, but always when we place our trust in our owlets hands, we are amazed. Rather than setting boundaries for them, we involve them in the process. Hear their voice and listen rather than muffling it. Support them in setting their own healthy boundaries. Not seeking to control them doesn't lead to chaos or lack of boundaries, or them doing their own thing at our expense, but rather harmony and respect. It's simple, really. And always leaves me smiling when I think "If only I'd approached this like I would with another adult...". So simple.

control :: (unschool monday part one)

I often wonder what might have happened if little owlet didn't arrive in our family. In our early days as parents, we spent loads of time trying to figure big owlet out. Reading the books that told us to resist the urge to respond to her. Trying to work out her schedule and fit her into ours. Trying to be in control. For the most part, she was compliant and so things worked out well, although the many hours spent rocking her back to sleep in the middle of the night might suggest differently. Perhaps if we'd known how quickly that time would pass, we'd have been less diligent, more lenient. Then little owlet came along and things changed. Otherwise we'd go nuts trying to win the battle. Trying to control her. What we found in the process of parenting her was a gentler way. One that took her needs into consideration and saw that they were met, alongside our own. Now that tiny owlet is here, we know there is no battle. It's not us against her. The opposite of control is not chaos. We don't desire control, only to help her find happiness and whatever she needs at that point in time. And we wake to happy smiles everyday... and manage an almost full night's sleep in the process.



We also strive to see those happy smiles on our eldest two owlets. Even when we are opposed to what they express that they need... Big owlet has been dead keen on a Baby Alive doll for as long as we've had tiny owlet. I've always thought them hideous with their oversized eyes and creepy expressions. They come with all sorts of unnecessary accessories made from copious quantities of plastic. They are NOT the kind of toy we'd like for them to have. The owlets know that. But they love them. Even after the spiel I gave them about the environmental damage among other things... So we reached a compromise. If you can call it that. At least the dolls they settled on drink from sippy cups and don't normalise formula feeding like so many like their counterparts. They wanted babies who would drink and wee like a real baby. Even after I walked around pointing at tiny owlet exclaiming "Baby! Alive!" *grin*, which was met with deadpan expressions and rolled eyes. They saved all their money and looked at the range of Baby Alive dolls and we held our judgement as they asked to go and buy them. Big owlet's best friend secured a second hand Baby Alive doll last week, so time was of the essence. We let go and even chipped in to cover the bit extra they needed to buy them.



Tonight two very happy little owlets are sleeping tucked up in their beds next to their new babies, Fiona Benlet and Ruby Khalo. They are mothering them beautifully. And I'm trying ever so hard to bite my tongue and ignore my aesthetic distaste. A task made easier when looking at my new happy purchase...



A bag! From France! A green bag! With a bike on it! Now all I need is a bike to match :)

{this moment} :: learning together

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Inspired by Soulemama

my creative space :: where for art thou?

I've been looking for my creative mojo everywhere. Have you seen it? I've decluttered. Discovered that organising the bookshelf by colour really does bring harmony to the hallway. But the mojo wasn't behind a book. Or in a cupboard. It's just gone. I've been distracted. Instead of finding creative inspiration and using it, I've noted it to myself and filed it away for a later date... When I have time.



I see little dots, smears and scribbles around me, pick out their shape, like watching clouds or seeing faces in tree knots. Then I go cuddle someone, wipe a tear, wash a nappy and I forget about it until next time...



But the scribbles, smears and dots are still there. For when I'm ready to notice and bring them into my creative conscience again. It feels like an eternity since I felt truly creative. I look back at our photos of the last two years and I can find the exact point that the creative spark died. When I stopped listening to focus on other things. Important things. The colour drained and it makes me sad. The magic went from our day-to-day. Since then, creating has been an effort.



I've plugged on regardless. Keeping my hands busy with a little business and learning new things, but it has seemed at times arduous... I'm slowly feeling a shift. The great lesson now is for me to act on the spark when it first occurs... Find the spark and the magic and run with it. Towards it. Rather than wait for my owlets to drag me to it...



To look at it, you'd think it was a fairly creative week. I've knitted, dyed fabric with tea leaves, begun cutting fabrics for dolls for my two biggest owlets. No small feat amongst all the baby gazing and other things I do... But still, it could be more exciting and colourful. More productive and enriching to us all. Colourful and magical. I know it's there waiting... under a rock somewhere. And I can't wait for it to return.

Perhaps it's waiting somewhere over here. Best go look!

unschool monday :: one on one

Some days I find myself frustrated at the little voice beside me, fighting to be heard among her sisters who are older and more eloquent or younger and needier. On the days I ignore that initial response and remember to stop, meet eye contact, listen and spend time with her, things settle. Today, with big owlet away at a sleepover, I was afforded the luxury of spending all day just listening. Doing what she liked. Slowing things down. After breakfast, she dressed herself, popped on a beanie and said "right mama, let's cook!" Her favourite thing to do. Not sure what the beanie was for. But I'm sure it helps.



Then we played some recorder (aka himalayan nose flute).



Followed by a co-operative board game. The oven mitt is in case she sustains an injury while placing the pieces down. Later we had a viewing of Alice in Wonderland and a trip to the playground. The day was harmonious and big owlet returned with a sense of calm, having spent some one on one time with her favourite friend. Like a breath of fresh air at just the right time after a weekend where we had seemed to struggle to find space in our little nest. I find I can hear their voices so much more clearly after some time alone with them, reconnecting. I imagine what it must be like for a teacher trying to hear the voices in a classroom of 30 owlets. I'm grateful for my nest of three and the absence of timetables and curriculum. I must remember to do this more often. Not just with one of my owlets, but each of them. Slow down and go with their flow and learn about them and what makes them tick. Appreciate them for who they are right now. One at a time.