6 February 2011

no more tears

new hair

Big owlet had a haircut today. I cut it for her. We haven't been to a hairdresser since moving to this island five years ago... Anyhow, today she asked for short hair and the scissors were in my hand. Her hair had been knotty, again, and we'd had some tears last time she asked me to tie it up for her. So we cut it. She said she wanted "to look goofier". Not sure she knows what that means, but she feels more like herself now. She's all grown up and so little all at once. She loves it. Obviously.

She wears her heart on her sleeve, big owlet. You always know exactly where you stand with her. Communicating her emotions has never been as difficult for her as understanding the emotions of others. She laughs and bubbles with enthusiasm at the slightest thing. She also cries easily. Anyone who knows her can attest to this. The other day we were at a cafe with a lovely new friend. The owlets had eaten ice creams and big owlet was getting bored, so she asked for a milkshake. I was planning to leave soon, was running low on cash and thought the milk may not do her chesty cough any favours. I said no. Overflowing with the frustration of someone big enough to know what she wanted, but not big enough to go buy the milkshake for herself, she cried. It's understandable. She's powerless in the situation. It's frustrating for her. She wears her heart on her sleeve, so she cries.

A woman at the next table loudly said to big owlet "oh you're too big to cry! I'm shocked!" My friend and I disagreed, in a friendly way - as friendly as we could anyhow - saying you can never be too big. Then the woman went on to tell us how amaaaaazing her grandson is. "He never cries. Unless he hurts himself badly.... Spoilt." "Um... pardon?" I asked. "I'm a spoilt grandmother". She said, smiling like a cheshire cat. Hmmmm.... I hugged my beautiful, big hearted girl. So thankful that she feels safe enough to tell us how she feels. To let us know when things upset her. One day she'll be able to explain her feelings with words. I'll be listening to her then, just as I listen now. Even if I can't fix the situation for her, she'll be heard. I'll be listening when she's bubbling over with joy too. Just glad she's sharing a little of her happiness with me.


  1. Betcha that woman's grandson will have some emotional issues when he's older. You're such a good mama!

  2. You don't know how much that means...that your daughter knows she is safe to talk and will be listened to and heard. I don't have that from my own mother and it's still hurting at age 27. Your daughter is very lucky.

  3. Why do some people think it's ok to say such hurtful things to/about children? I just don't get it.

    I'm glad you gave her a big cuddle. She's lovely, and her new hair IS goofy - in a cute way! Short hair is so much easier and Doots has always had a bob, but now she wants to grow it. I'm hoping she'll realise that long hair means more brushing, washing and wearing it up, and then change her mind!

    Have a lovely week.

  4. I love love love her hair - really suits her.

  5. I love the message of this post, Lauren. I love the idea of smiles AND talking AND hugs AND tears all intermingling to become a complete—all the way through—connection. Your kids will always have this with you. What a beautiful story.

    And her haircut (and smile!) is gorgeous! :)


Share your thoughts...