10 June 2011
things I know :: this too shall pass
This is my gentle, happy little soul. When we were waiting for her, people would ask me if I knew what she was. A boy or a girl? I'd reply that I only knew who she was. And here she is. Still the same. But in my arms... most of the time.
Her sleep patterns are the same as when she was in the womb. She fits in with my sleep patterns very well, thankfully. But only if I'm beside her, as before.
She rarely sleeps during the day. Only power naps. Unless she is on my back and feels safe, content.
I know that this doesn't make her difficult. It isn't a problem. It is how she needs to be mothered. She is different to her sisters, who I have mothered in different ways. I know now that there is no sleep technique, no method or quick fix that is right for all babies. Just one for each and one which is found with an open heart and an open mind. It can't be taught.
I know that if I relied on someone else for everything I'd probably like to be pretty close to them too.
I know that when she is going through something, a developmental stage, or a new tooth, we have a harder week than usual. What makes it hard for me though, is not the crying or wakefulness. It is the frustration at the thought of all the things I should be doing. The pile of washing, the sewing or the knitting I so desperately need to do. The cup of tea I wanted. My attachment to that thing I so wanted for myself in that moment and the fact that she demands that I sweep it aside. For her.
I know that after every difficult week, an easier week usually follows. After that milestone has been reached. I also know that this means she is constantly changing, growing. Just as the difficult week will pass, so will the easy one...
And so will these days of snuggling, longing, pacing, giggling and gazing. In the blink of an eye. I may never have this kind of intimate relationship with another person in my life. With that realisation brings a bittersweet tear and a sigh as I remember to hold her close and not wish these moments away. To listen to her and delight in her and savour these moments for ever. For they too shall pass.
Some reading I've found helpful this week.
Connected Mom: Four Lies Sleep Trainers Tell You (And One Truth They Won't!)
Dr Sears: 8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know
Reflecting on this post: sweet dreams...
And this one: sleep (un)school
And one that had me sobbing with recognition and relishing in its beauty...
soulful mothering ~ with tara thayer
This week I'm linking up with Shae's Things I Know at Yay for Home. Go visit and see what others know this week too! xx