It does happen eventually... One day you wake up and realize that they didn't sneak into your bed during the night and you have, in fact, had the whole bed to yourselves without so much as a kick, shove or snuggle. They stayed in their own bed the whole night, content with the company of their sibling nearby. Then they do it another night and another until you figure they have found a way to long nights of peaceful sleep too... and they are happy. But you can't sleep because the baby in your belly means that after the umpteenth visit to the toilet you can't find that comfy spot again. And your mind starts racing. You know that in a matter of weeks it will all begin again and you will have a new small person sharing your space, feeding all night long, snuggling, kicking, probably taking up most of the bed.. and it's likely that you will not find deep, nourishing sleep for another long while... oh but it is lovely!
Remind me of this when I complain to you in a sleep deprived state that it will never end. Remind me that it is so worth it, for them, for us... that we sleep better this way. Remind me that we will get the whole bed back. Eventually. And while there will most likely be snuggles in the morning, they will not always be all night long. Remind me that I just might miss them when they are gone.
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Some resources for sleep, owlets and the family bed:
Parenting Baby to Sleep Blog
Ten Reasons to Sleep Next to Your Baby - Jan Hunt
When Will My Baby Soothe Himself to Sleep? - Jan Hunt
What are the long term effects on my baby of sharing a bed? - James McKenna
Rethinking "Healthy" Infant Sleep - James McKenna
Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them - James McKenna
Safe Co-Sleeping - Dr Sears
The Family Bed - Kellymom
Yep, I need them so close to me when they're little, and then I love that they come to enjoy their own space, and wow, sleep is impossible to overrate.
ReplyDeleteI really liked 'Three in the Bed' (can't remember the author).
Hope you get to have lots of naps over the weekend.
What a lovely post.
ReplyDeleteIt has given me renewed hope that one day I will be able to stretch out in bed again. It would also be nice to not have to move out of the bed with military precision just to go to the loo without waking the sleeping bundle beside me.
Am eagerly reading Elizabeth Pantley and am familiar with Dr Sears but it is nice to hear of other reads that can inspire ideas for better sleeping for all :)
I normally shock people that my babies went straight from hospital into their own rooms, they were brilliant sleepers (we lived on an air force base with open windows, as it was the tropics) & i always breastfed in the lounge, not in bed. They only woke at night for the first few weeks, then it was 12hours, sooo lucky!!
ReplyDeleteWe didn't encourage toddlers to sleep in our bed, if they come in really early they just snuggle & back to sleep, that's fine, it's nice to think even though they're school age, they still like a cuddle. So at the other end of parenting young children, it's kind of nice. They are still all great sleepers, heavy sleepers even. Just that sometimes when they get up for an early morning trip to the bathroom they lose their way. In Canberra, in Winter, when my husband is away, it's fine by me!! Love Posie
Oh Bless the perfect timing L. My little ones have also started sleeping in their own spaces more regularly. And actually sleeping through the night. I miss them on occasion, and have actually gone in with them for midnight cuddles but the new deepness of sleep that we are all getting feels like an unfamiliar luxury. And like you I'm so glad that we did it slowly and at a pace that suited us all.
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit like Posie - first two were great sleepers, own beds, own rooms.
ReplyDeleteThe third was a nightmare.
Feeling human again after nearly two years of sleep deprivation - I think everyone at home is happy Mum is getting more sleep again :)
Good Luck finding that comfy spot Lauren !
Wish someone had given that book list when Kai was smaller - he was an awful sleeper! Great now, but showing no signs of wanting to move into his own room...Brett is hoping it happens before he becomes a teenager! lol!
ReplyDeleteYes, it IS worth it! Yes they do end up in their own beds. Starts of with them coming into your room each night. Then it goes longer between visits. Then coming into your room in the mornings for snuggles. It goes too fast.
ReplyDeleteEven when they are older you will still find them in your room in the morning, sitting on the bed for a chat and play with the youngest person in the big bed :)
Hope you are able to have some longer stretches of sleep between now and bubs birth day :)
I'm still trying to remind myself of this with my second, who has stayed in our bed much, much longer than our first. It is beautiful, despite the extra elbows and knees. :)
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